Romantic Birthday Surprises

It would go something like this - the way his face lights up, the way he sheepishly mulls over the surprise and the color that rises to his cheeks after the gift has been opened and admired. Then the dimpled smile makes way...and for that, for just that, you want the birthday to never end.

Birthday surprises are like that. Romantic birthday surprises, even more so. The gesture overrides, the emotion does what an aphrodisiac would, and the brimming of the heart with love (the all consuming, the overriding, the sudden tumult) is all that lingers.

In a life that usually-mostly-always happens waaay too fast, when there really is no time to look up from the work schedule and other commitments that we must fulfill, she sometimes feels ignored. She's all about the career as well.

And though she does not admit it, or maybe she's buried it somewhere deep, deep inside - all she needs is a little romance, just a little, to bring out a side of her that she usually sheaths under Gucci shoes and a Prada S.p.A suit.

Romantic birthday surprises. Of the anticipation, the things leading up to it, the silk and the satin, the webbing of romantic fantasies, the wantings and the cravings...You could go on and on with the allegories, no? That's not what this is about.

The best thing about guys? A little gesture is enough to take them a long, long way. They don't need the over-the-top, overly dramatic gestures or overtures and exaggerated settings. Guys are simple like that.

You keep it simple and sweet and that's all it'll take. Really. These ideas then? Just for him and you. Only, only.

...of your body, we mean. Too bold? Hell no. He'll go bonkers over this one. Too many emotions overload, maybe. Hear us out. So let's just say that you're done with the whole shindig of the gifting and the singing and the 'happy, happy, happy birthday baby' business.

It's all about the teasing - Swear. Tease...Torment...Torture. Why would you not? Why would you let the opportunity slip by? On his birthday, least of all. We'll tell you how to make this happen.

Plan it a day before his day, let it happen on the eve of his birthday. While he's in the shower, you slip a piece of your delicate clothing in his brief case. We are thinking of red and lacy. Spritz it with your perfume. Then find the tie he will wear that day and use some of the perfume on there as well.

Guaranteed he'll be thinking only about you, wondering when the day will end. Then when he gets to the office and finds the red lacy thing? Overdrive. If he calls, don't pick it up. Torture, remember? This is where you start the teasing marathon.

Neatly wrapped with the negligee is a letter of lust and romance. What letter? The one you penned down, with all the fantasies and fetishes. Complete with detailed accounts of what you want to do to him...slow torture, ladies. Slow torture. And then death by deed in the eve when you greet him at the doorstep in something scandalous. What a birthday it'll be.

Girls are all about the mush and romance. No two ways about it. And there is not much that will change about it either. Accept and submit to the fact. While a teddy bear from a high school sweetheart gives her a high in the young days, maybe a heart framed snap as she grows up is what it takes to get the heart beating.

So every girl dreams of a knight in shining armor, you know? She does. At some time in her life or all her life. And when reality takes over, we realize that there are no fairy tales, only relationships - of the ups and downs.

This birthday? Make it all about that fairy tale. Be chivalrous as hell, be romantic as hell...be her knight in shining armor. And we'll tell you what, girls don't really need the over-the-top business either. They just need to know that you appreciate them, think of them and need them in your life.

Which will all happen when you do all the things that make her feel special. How? Whisk her away to a breathtaking location. Pack her a special meal and then spend the day, just the two of you, swimming, laughing and of course romancing.

Don't want to go all the way somewhere? No problem. Turn the home into her haven. Get her friends to take her away while you do up the house.

Massages and baths later, sit her down and draw out an archaic looking paper that has a poem written for her especially. Swear the poem will be the end of her. Gift her something really romantic.

What do you think she'll like? A photo frame with her morning after snap, black and white and romantic? Or how about a sapphire ring with your names carved under? Think, think. And then you do what the bed of roses demands. What she likes, you like, what you'll like. Blur the lines between romance and erotic. Just this once and then again and again.

It does not just have to be a once a year deal, you know? Continue the surprise act through the year with simple gestures like sending flowers over at work or writing her a love letter, or a coded letter that spells 'I love you'.

With romantic surprises like these, it's a pity that birthdays are a once in a year affair. Romantic-Lustful-Erotic. That's what you need to plan this year. Nothing more to say. Nothing more required, either.